Swap Shame-Scrolling with Self-Compassionate Mornings

Each morning, I observed myself going on social media, comparing myself to others, and focusing on my perceived gaps. 

A selection bias that was not working in my favor. I was electing to find ways to make myself feel inferior. 

I was triggering my own shame spiral - not the best way to begin the day! 

However, the awareness alone wasn’t enough to stop the habits as they became almost automatic behaviors. 

I needed to create a new habit… and practice it… over and over again. 

While not a linear unlearn-relearn process, most mornings, I am now intentional about focusing my attention on something that will set me up to be more grounded and resourced for the day.

This often looks like taking more time on my walk with my dog, Reese. Observing him sniff… and sniff… and sniff… No longer trying to rush him or get frustrated by just how long he chooses to inhale the aromas. 

I observe the sun rise and take moments throughout the day to pause and take in the sky. 

On these fall days where the sky is blue and the clouds are moving slowly, I notice myself at peace. The clouds are not in a rush… and I choose to match their pace.

The peace I experience inside is a sharp contrast to the shame that was triggered from scrolling social media and looking for ways that I am inferior. 

As I reflect, I have been planning ways to be intentional about my relationship with social media, and take time to notice what it shows me about my relationship with myself.

I’ve noticed a desire to share less of my “achievements” - an aversion, even - and share more of my slow, intentional, and simple living. 

I do not want to contribute to the reason someone feels a need to achieve more and loses themselves in being who they think they need to be for acceptance and social media engagement. I want to normalize that living a simple life can be incredibly fulfilling. I want to enforce the message that you are worthy of love and acceptance separate from your achievements. 

I will continue to show up as someone who is learning to accept myself with compassion and nonjudgment and contribute to creating environments where others are invited to do the same. 

After years of trying to suppress my insecurities under layers of achievements, I prefer to show up real, because that’s how we find our community of belonging... And that’s how they find us… and we can actually heal those shame spirals. 

Shame heals in connection with others who accept us with nonjudgment. Shame does not heal from more achievements and striving… rather the perfectionistic striving often maintains the very shame cycle you may be trying to escape. 

Part of this message and share is to put into the world my commitment to myself to continue to practice the new morning habits. The mornings feel so much better when I show up as my own best friend. When I am kinder to me, I show up better for you… more… I show up…period… rather than isolate in shame.

I would like to leave you with an invitation to explore these questions and apply them to your own life: 

How would you like to show up for yourself and others? 

What morning routine will help you to show up in the way you desire? 

What turtle step will you take to put that awareness into action? 

And if you are struggling with shame, I hope you may trust that there are people like me here to love and accept you as you are… I hope you may experience the relief that comes from providing yourself compassion, nonjudgment, and acceptance, as well.

Join me here to learn more about this message and write a book with me!