How I live a rich life without a “high income” as a doctor

First, “high income” is subjective and relative. I have doctoral degrees in dentistry and medicine. Compared to others who work as dentists and physicians, I do not have a high income, AND I live a rich life. 

How? 

This week, I did this: 

I blocked my whole day off for my dog’s birthday (and am writing this the day before to even have this blog post complete before that day “off”). 

I learned the hard way what it feels like to miss opportunities to celebrate loved ones’ important occasions and be there in difficult times. 

I pivoted the way I practice dentistry and medicine multiple times to curate my life so that I would have enough flexibility to prioritize sustainable wellness and my dog. I chose my current graduate school and upcoming internship for Marriage and Family Therapy based on how it would provide me the opportunity to continue to give my dog the best life ever. Literally a top driver.

I struggled to find purpose and meaning in my life after I left surgery and was discharged from the military. My dog, Reese, saved my life- he WILL be a top priority, always. He is why I am still here, so if you like me and/or my work- feel free to thank Reese! If you don’t like me or my work… well, blaming Reese for me being here won’t get you much so I’d recommend spending your time doing something you value, instead. ;-P

If you’re not a dog lover, blocking off a day to celebrate a dog’s birthday may not feel so special- and you may not want to follow me since most of my content revolves around my dog. However, you can translate this to spending a day doing anything you want.. What would that look like and feel like to you?

As I reflect on why this feels so important, I think of the night that I missed the call of my ex-boyfriend days before he passed away unexpectedly. I never got to speak or see him again. I went to his funeral, and it was a closed casket. While I still have the voicemail he left me that night, I also have the deep pain. I learned that I never want to ever be in a position where I am consistently prioritizing work over presence with loved ones (There will be some compromises here and there, and may we not judge ourselves for when those occur). 

It was admittedly VERY HARD to walk away from one of the higher paying specialities without judging myself for the financial consequences. I do not perceive that my current life necessarily means that I will not have a “high income” in the future- it’s just not a priority when my simple life can be sustained with less.

I am currently preparing for an unpaid internship that is part of my Marriage and Family Therapy graduate school requirements. Knowing that I will be working 20 hours per week for free was a gut punch after all the years I’ve already worked as an underpaid trainee, yet acknowledging how rich my life feels, because I get to focus on what matters most has reduced the pain and allowed me to feel enthusiastic and excited despite how much I think students are exploited and discourage justifying unpaid labor when it is detrimental and does not align for you (blog posts for a different day). 

Today, I am celebrating the wonderful life of my dog, Reese! He has helped me to survive rock bottom mental and physical states, and he has partnered with me on the healing journey. He is a core reason behind how I developed the strength and mission to help others to ground themselves on what matters, too, and save more lives along the way as we spread the message that NOTHING in our careers are more important than our lives and loved ones… Nothing. 

If you are currently experiencing distress and are having a hard time finding reasons to celebrate life, I see you. Your life matters and our brains have a very hard time seeing the light when in the storms. Please know that you are very loved and your life matters — Call 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ for immediate support.