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Writer's pictureJillian Rigert

How Developing Self-Compassion Made Me Stronger

People think self-compassion makes you soft... Here's how developing it really helped me.


Before I developed tender and FIERCE self-compassion, I pushed people away who treated me well, and I gravitated toward people who were oppressive, controlling, condescending, and critical.


The latter is what I felt more comfortable tolerating as it reflected my own inner voice.

THEN... I developed self-compassion. As I dedicated myself more and more to showing up for myself with compassion, I became like a ninja warrior, no longer tolerating abuse and mama bearing it up to protect others. I learned to nurture myself when in moments of suffering rather than add to the pain with self-judgment.


Now, my inner voice is much more kind to myself. I take more risks in creating the life I truly desire, because I now feel safer within my own thoughts and body... I trust myself.


Feeling safer within helped me to tap into what my soul has been speaking my whole life. Without safety, I was not able to hear as I constantly have been scanning inside and out, hypervigilant, and on edge. Hypervigilance remains as I work through the psychosomatic impacts of life experiences, but I now meet it with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment and frustration.


Self-compassion has been one of the greatest gifts that I've ever given myself. And though it has been painful to accept at times, I feel more love in my heart than ever before. Without needing to be armored up all the time, I now am able to connect deeper and more fully with others... and learn where I am putting up intentional boundaries. I no longer feel blocked by a hard shell of heavy armor that distanced me from others.


I share this with you as evidence... From my experience, self-compassion will not make you soft and weak. Quite the opposite.


I am a highly sensitive person with newly developed high levels of self-compassion, and I am also a strong person with no tolerance for bullies or drama.


I am no longer restricted by the fear of other people's opinions, because I know I belong to myself, a higher power, a mission greater than me and am fiercely devoted to helping others to see how much they fricking matter!!!


My pain helped me to find love and meaning... my love and sense of meaning trumps my fears. And I am here to support you to overcome your fears, trust yourself, and give yourself compassion every step of the way.


Why? Because you matter... and I sure as heck don't need your CV to know that.



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